


The Price of Illness

by JayceCarter



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Blood, F/M, Feels, Kissing, Minor Injuries, No Smut, Terminal Illnesses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-30
Updated: 2018-03-30
Packaged: 2019-04-14 18:48:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14142282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JayceCarter/pseuds/JayceCarter
Summary: Thane was prepared to deal with his illness, but he wasn't prepared for Shepard to have to deal with it. The two are forced to confront the realities of his illness, and exactly what it means for them.





	The Price of Illness

"Siha."

 

Shepard tried to push off the hand that shook her. She'd never woken up well, a throwback to her childhood when she'd had to steal sleep wherever she could.

 

"You are bleeding, Siha, wake up."

 

She lifted her hands to her face, patting them over the tingling on her cheek. Her eyes opened, finding the lights on but dim and her fingers covered in red.

 

"Not again." She groaned as she sat up, covering her nose with her hand. Blood had already soaked into the pillow, turning the blue purple. The cold of the floor soaked into her feet.

 

Despite the fact Thane kept his quarters warm, the metal never seemed to lose the chill.

 

A rag was pressed to her face, and she offered Thane a half-smile as she replaced her hand with the rag.

 

"This is the third time this week."

 

The rag muffled her voice. "It's just a nosebleed. Human's bleed, it's what we do. Some find it charming."

 

Thane's lips pressed together as he watched her, the silence that said he was thinking. He thought too much, worried too much, took too many things on his shoulders. "Perhaps you should sleep in your own quarters."

 

And there it was. The guilt in his voice, the way he tried to atone for things that didn't need atonement.

 

Shepard shook her head. "My room is too humid for you. You need to be here."

 

"I didn't say I would sleep there."

 

Oh.

 

Shepard's back went straight, fingers tightening in the rag until her knuckles ached. "You want me not to sleep here anymore?"

 

She swallowed in a gulp before she turned away. She'd never been someone to sulk or crumble. No, she had far too much ego for that.

 

If he didn't want her there, she'd leave.

 

"Wait, Siha, wait." He caught her arm before she could leave.

 

"If you want me to leave, I'll leave."

 

He twisted her until she faced him, though she refused to look up into his eyes, the ones so dark they seemed black. She still remembered the exam when Dr. Chakwas had shined a light in his eyes, and she'd realized they were green.

 

"I am not trying to make you leave."

 

"Really? Because suggesting I sleep in my quarters instead of yours seems a lot like kicking me out. It's like the time they 'invited me to leave' a fancy party. I can read between the lines."

 

He leaned down, his forehead brushing hers, his hands on her arms. The warmth of his scales eased her, made her want to curl around him.

 

"I am not inviting you to leave." His sigh blew over the hand that still held the rag to her nose. "I need this climate to slow my illness, but you are suffering for it. I have caused much pain in my life, but you are the last person I wish to hurt."

 

Shepard pulled away so she could lift her gaze to his. "You're an idiot, you know that? A bloody nose is not a big deal, and it would take a lot more than that to drive me out of your bed."

 

He moved one of his hands to her cheek, thumb rubbing below her eye. "I do not care to see you bleeding."

 

She pulled the rag away, grateful for the lack of the telltale trickle of blood. "I'll talk to Chakwas. I bet she'll have an option to help, something to keep my nose from dying out."

 

Thane's hands slipped away as she turned. There was no bathroom in his quarters since they were never intended to be quarters, and she had no desire to walk down the hall to the restroom. She made do by pouring water into a new rag and using it to clean her face.

 

"You shouldn't have to make adjustments. This, my illness, it is my burden to bear, not yours."

 

She dried her face before running her hand across the bottom of her nose. No blood. "We're in this together. Your burdens are mine."

 

"But-"

 

"-But nothing. When I took us through the Omega 4 relay, you followed. You stood there by my side knowing we might not make it back. If you could do that, do you really think a little bit of dry air is going to send me running?"

 

He released that soft sigh that said while he didn't agree, he knew he'd lost the fight. "Dry air is only the start. Eventually, this will progress, and I will need more help, more accommodations. When this becomes too much, when you decide that the sacrifices are too great, you will tell me. I won't ever be angry about it, never wish for you to resent me for staying when you wanted to go. The realities of illness take their toll, and it is not a price I wish for you to pay-"

 

"-I'm going nowhere, Thane. No matter what, for as long as I have you, I'm here." She shut him up by sliding her hand behind his neck and pulling him down into a kiss. The tingle of his lips against hers, the slight toxin on his skin that she'd mostly developed resistance to as familiar as his taste, as his touch.

 

He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her against him, forcing her to her toes to keep contact.

 

She laced her fingers together behind his neck like she could hold him there forever, like she could keep him close enough that his damned death sentence wouldn't be able to take him. He spoke about dying with such ease, but damn it, she hadn't come to terms with it, doubted she ever would, refused to accept it.

 

No, she didn't accept anything. Not the Reapers. Not the Collectors. Not some petty illness set on taking him away from her.

 

He broke the kiss and brushed his cheek against hers. "I am sorry for waking you up."

 

"Well, since we are up, I have a pretty good idea of how you could make it up to me." She cocked up an eyebrow, lips drawing into a smirk.

 

Thane reached down, grasping her thighs to lift so her legs wrapped around his waist. "I do not deserve you." He twisted them, laying her on the bed beneath him, settling between her thighs. “But I promise to spend whatever time I have left trying to be someone worthy of you.”

 

“You already are worthy, you idiot. Now, why don't we get to that whole 'making up to me' thing?”

 

He brushed his forehead against hers, hand slipping beneath her shirt, trailing up the skin on her side, over the ridges and dips of her ribs. “Gladly, Siha.”  

 


End file.
